Things Just Happen
by MariCareBear
Summary: TRILY Lily's life is falling apart, Travis is miserable, despite their separate trials can Travis and Lily help each other's lives?
1. She fooled all of her friends

~She fooled all of her friends into thinking she's so strong~  
  
Lily Randal was a liar, all right, she'd never lied outright to her friends but she'd hasn't been telling them the whole truth either.   
  
~But she still sleeps with the light on~  
  
She doesn't tell the truth because she's scared, scared of what life may become. Scared that the darkness in her heart will consume her entire life.  
  
~And she acts like it's all right on as she smiles again~  
  
She couldn't tell her friends, she couldn't bring herself to let them see past the fake smile and cheerful conversation. It was easier for them to believe her facade and in a way it was easier to keep it up rather than take the wall she'd been protecting herself with down.  
  
~And her mother lies there sick with cancer~  
  
Every night after RFR she picker her mother up from chemo treatments or doctors appointments, that was Lily's new job, not teaching young kids to play the guitar like she had told the guys. Her mother had gotten sick, God how long ago had that been? Oh, right, her mother had gotten sick the summer after RFR had nearly ended because of something that had been her fault. Kissing Travis. Lily hadn't been talking to her friends when her mom got sick and she didn't bother telling them when they started speaking again.  
  
~And her friends don't understand her~  
  
Lily knew she would never tell them because Travis, Ray and Robbie wouldn't understand any of her reasoning. They would never be able to understand how she had let the life that once belonged to her slips so far out of her reach. She didn't understand her life anymore, so how could she expect anyone else to understand it?  
  
~She's a question without answers who feels like falling apart~  
  
Everyone morning Lily had to force herself out of bed, she didn't sleep well and she got herself out of bed for the soul purpose that the Lily Randal everyone knew never missed school. The Lily Randal everyone knew was the picture of put together, she knew who she was and never questioned that. But the real Lily Randal was none of these things she appeared to be and some days Lily just wanted to curl up under her blankets and block the entire world out so she wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions of losing it. Some days she just wanted to fall apart, but she couldn't do that. Lily Randal didn't fall apart.  
  
~She knows she's so much more than worthless~  
  
Lily knows that in something she has a worth, that someone needs her. But she doesn't see that yet. Deep down she knows she's worth something, if only she could find it.  
  
~She needs to find a purpose~  
  
At home she feels unnecessary, she picks her mother up at the appointments her father took her to, but when she got her mother home all responsibility was taken on by her father. When she was home Lily had no point and her RFR duties were slowly slipping away, they didn't need her at RFR anymore. The various days she'd missed and the excellent shows that had resulted were proof of that.  
  
~She wonders what she did to deserve this~  
  
Lily wonders why shed been put on this earth if she is only going to be miserable. Was it something she'd done in her earlier years of life? She'd been unhappy since she'd kissed Travis, was that it? Was what she'd done so bad that she couldn't be forgiven for it? Was she being punished for something that had happened two years ago? 


	2. And he’s telling everyone a story

_And he's telling everyone a story  
Cause he thinks his life is boring_  
  
How many times had Travis elaborated on the truth? Sure he had been to all the places he's said he'd been but half of the stories he was now telling had been embellished upon. So what if he had lived in all those places, what did it matter anyway? He'd always been alone in these places, just like he was alone here, in Roscoe. His parents were so caught up in their work and their liberal child rearing strategies; Travis may have been to all of those exotic places but his life was far from exotic, it was lonely and boring.  
  
_And he fights so you won't ignore him  
Cause that's his biggest fear_  
  
Even Robbie who believed in speaking out against what you believed was wrong was starting to think that Travis was going over the edge with his battle with Whaller, as Travis, not Smog. Travis spent nearly every afternoon in detention, barely making it in time to start the show a feat only completed because the detention hours had changed. With Whaller Travis was locked in a battle of wits, sometimes he won, sometimes he lost but half the time Travis couldn't care less about the things he was fighting for. In all of the other schools he had gone to it didn't matter if he blended into the background because he never stayed around long enough to care what happened, but somehow it was important here that he spoke out and people knew who Travis Strong was, not just Smog from RFR.  
  
_And he cries, but you'll rarely see him do it_  
  
he cried and sometimes he couldn't explain why. The last time anyone had seen him cry was at the blow-out two years ago, since then Travis only ever cried alone when his parents weren't home and the house was silent.  
  
_And he loves but he's scared to use it_  
  
He caught himself watching Lily sometimes, six months ago he realized that he was still in love with her. Which couldn't be happening because before his feelings for Lily had nearly destroyed to many friendships and he wasn't about to start that all over again.  
  
_So he hides behind the music  
Cause he likes it that way_  
  
He and Lily had a distance between them, a distance he had put there for his own sanity. He stayed at the switchboard and either left before Lily had the chance to say anything to him or he stayed saying that he had to take care of ne thing or the other; anything to hide from Lily and his feelings for her.  
  
_She's calling out to you_  
  
Come to think of it Lily didn't seem to mind that neither one of them had shared a conversation in months and this was the first time that Travis had actually stopped to think about it. 


	3. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
  
**A.N. Alright I know there are a few problems with this story...first of all I know the first two chapters were kind of odd they set the story up...second I know there was a really long period of time in between the first and second chapters and now there are going to be a lot of updates it's just because I had written a good portion of this story out in a notebook that in the chaos of the last days of school got lost, but they have been found so expect lots of updates soon! Oh and I forgot to put this in the previous chapters, the song lyrics used (the one in _italics) _is Calling Out by Thousand Foot Krutch also I plan to incorportate several other song lyrics (just one line here and there) but half the time I don't know who actually sings the song but just keep in mind that if it's in italics and it's not a stressed word I don't own it, just like I don't own RFR or any of the characters...expect maybe their parents and anyone who's not actually on RFR**  
  
Travis sighs pushing a few buttons on the switch board, Lily, Ray and Robbie had been gone for nearly an hour and the silence was beginning to consume Travis when the station slammed open and Lily walks in, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"Travis, I didn't think you were still here." Lily quickly wipes at her cheeks, "I'm gonna go." And with her words Lily turns to go.  
  
_She's calling out to you_  
  
"You don't have to." Travis states softly.  
  
"I should really go."  
  
_This is a call, this is call out  
_  
"Lily, what's wrong?" Travis asks softly moving toward her, his heart pounding at the close proximity, closer than they've been in a long time.  
  
"It's nothing." Lily breathes deeply, "really."  
  
"You're bleeding," Travis takes note of the small cut on Lily's cheek, Travis grabs a nearby tissue and gently touches it to Lily's cheek.  
  
"I...it's just from a tree branch...I was..."  
  
"Running." Travis finishes for her, he knows the feeling.  
  
_Cause every time I fall down I reach out to you  
_  
Slowly Lily's hand moves to the cut, covering Travis' hand as well, "I'm..." Lily lets out a long breath unwilling to move.  
  
_And I'm losing control now_  
  
When Lily realizes that their faces are only inches apart Lily whispers, "Travis we shouldn't."  
  
_And my hazard signs are all out_  
  
"Last time..." They are so close now that Travis' breath brushes across Lily's cheek.  
  
_I'm asking you to show me what life is all about_  
  
Lily lets out another deep breath and she traces Travis' hand under hers and she laces her fingers through his. Travis leans down and gently kisses Lily and then with increasing urgency his free hand brushing her cheek softly, when they finally break apart both are breathing heavily and they quickly move apart, Travis stepping around a table.  
  
"I...I...I..." Lily stutters.  
  
"Lily, we can't do this." Travis declares. "This is bad. Taboo. Unacceptable."  
  
"I know Travis, I know." Lily sighs, frustrated. "I'm gonna go."  
  
"Lily..." Travis doesn't actually have anything to say, his heart doesn't want her to go while his head knows that nothing good can come from prolonging the conversation.  
  
"Travis, I can't go through this again, I can't handle it, I don't have it in me. I don't have the..."  
  
"Lily..."  
  
"I have to go Travis." Lily doesn't allow Travis to get in another word and she disapears out the door.

* * *

Lily walks slowly back to her house, she doesn't want to be there but she knows that if she does anywhere else she runs the risk of running into Ray, Robbie or anyone else for that matter. Walking into her home the smell of sickness greets Lily at the door and despite the fact that the smells has been there for years it still startles Lily but today it seems to effect her more than usual and her stomach turns and withing seconds Lily finds herself in the bathroom. The small amount of food that was in her stomach is empties but her stomach continues to lurch and when someone comes up behind her and pulls her hair away from her face until her stomach settles Lily assumes it's her father because she'd seem him to similar actions for her mother.   
  
Lily's heart pounds when she faces Travis, she jumps quickly to her feet but she had to grab the counter to hold her balance, "what are you doing here?"  
  
"You just left, I thought we needed to talk," Travis responds. "Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine," Lily states weakly.  
  
"You don't look fine." Travis informs. "Your face is sheet white, maybe you should be in bed."  
  
Lily takes a deep breath as she slowly starts to feel less weak, "I'm really alright Travis, thank you."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Positive, but I don't really feel like talking Travis."  
  
"Lily we have to talk," Travis insists. "Last time..."  
  
"This isn't last time Travis, it doesn't mean I feel..."  
  
Travis cuts Lily off, "can you finish that sentence without lying?"  
  
Lily sighs defeated, "alright we'll talk. We can talk in the living room."  
  
They don't actually make it to the living room because Lily's father is just coming out of Lily's mother's bedroom, "Lily, I'm sorry but your mother is having a bad day, I need to run to the drug store to fill one of her prescriptions we were hoping she wouldn't need, you need to sit with her and I need your friend to leave."  
  
"Okay Dad," Lily nods. "Thanks for coming over Travis, I'll see you later." Once Lily's father and Travis have left Lily slips in to her mother's bedroom, "hi Mom." Lily calls softly.   
  
"Lily," Mrs. Randal greets, her voice is scratchy. "Come in, did your father leave then?"  
  
Lily nods, "he went to fill your prescription. What's this one for?"  
  
Lily's mother takes a sip of water before responding, "something my doctor prescribed, it's supposed to help battle the side effects of the chemo."  
  
Lily offers her mother a bright, fake but nonetheless bright, smile, "well that's good then, right? It will make you feel better."  
  
"I hope so. Are you alright? You look upset?"  
  
At that moment Lily can't help but wish she could have her mother like she was before back, when she could tell her anything but instead Lily nods, "I'm just tired is all, I had a lot of homework today. I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight."  
  
Lily's mother smiles weakly, "that's probably a good idea, get a good nights sleep. Everything always looks better after a good nights sleep."  
  
Lily nods, but inwardly she thinks, 'not likely, when was the last time I got a good nights sleep?' But instead she states, "yeah, when Dad get's home I'll go to bed."  
  
"You don't have to stay up with me dear."  
  
Lily shakes her head, "it's alright Mom, I want to."  
  
By the time Lily's father gets home her mother had been asleep for awhile and Lily quietly slips out of her room figure she was in for a long typically sleepless night but for the first time in a long time Lily slips asleep almost instantly. 


	4. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

_**"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!"  
  
"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!"  
  
"It was just a big mistake."  
  
"We're friends Lily, just good friends who made a mistake, a big, big mistake that we can't make again."**_

Lily sits up quickly in bed, too many memories are running through her head, today had opened a can of worms that Lily didn't know if she could handle. What Travis had said about them kissing was true, it nearly ruined friendships and it had almost broken Lily the first and Lily knew that her entire life was already cracked down the middle, on the verge of breaking into a million pieces, and Lily wasn't sure if her life could handle any more stress.

* * *

"Hey Travis." Ray and Robbie greet Travis the next day.  
  
"Hey, where's Lily?" Travis asks glancing around and hoping that she isn't avoiding him.  
  
"She wasn't in first period." Robbie responds.  
  
"Lily? Missing a day of school?" Ray questions, "Lily never misses school. I can't think of a single day she's missed in high school."  
  
"I'll see you guys later." Travis states before beginning to walk away.  
  
"Aren't you coming to lunch?" Ray asks.  
  
Travis shakes his head, "I'm not hungry."  
  
Travis had never ditched before but somehow he finds himself halfway to Lily's house before he realizes that lunch doesn't give him enough time to get to Lily's house and back in time for the class. This doesn't stop him though because when he had been at Lily's he house he had gotten the feeling that Lily was keeping something from their group of friends and that is what gets Travis to ring Lily's doorbell. He has to wait several minutes before the door is pulled open by Lily who has red, puffy eyes and is still in her pajamas.  
  
"Travis what are you doing here?"  
  
"You weren't in school." Travis states dumbly.  
  
"Yeah." Lily responds shifting uncomfortably as she seems to be struggling with some sort of internal battle. "Um, I guess you can come in." She allows him inside and then closes the front door with a sigh.  
  
"You've been crying." _Great, another dumb obvious statement for Travis.  
_  
"Yeah, there's a lot going on with my family right now." Lily responds sitting on the living room couch and motioning for Travis to do the same.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
_Cause every time I fall down I reach out to you  
_  
Lily takes a deep breath and finally responds, "my mom's dying."  
  
_She's fooled all of her friends into thinking she's so strong_  
  
This shocks Travis more than anything else she could have said. "What? How?"  
  
"She um," Lily takes a deep controlling breath, "she has cancer."  
  
"Well that doesn't mean she's going to die. They have so many treatments for cancer now."  
  
Lily shakes her head, the treatments not working, they've been treating her with chemo and radiation and so many different medications."  
  
"You have to give them some time." Travis is pulling at strings, cancer is something he doesn't know much about, but so far what he's said sound right.  
  
Lily shakes her head again, "they've been treating her for two years, there's nothing they can do for her anymore."  
  
"Lily I had no idea..." Travis can't help but wonder if the distance had put between them had made her feel like she couldn't come to him.  
  
_She's a question without answers_  
  
"You could have come to me, I wouldn't have told Ray or Robbie."  
  
Lily laughs, "right."  
  
"You could have."  
  
"Travis, you and I have probably had a total of an our and a half of conversation in two years. We haven't been there for each other."  
  
_She's calling out to you_  
  
"I'm here now Lily, what can I do?" Travis gently touches Lily's arm.  
  
"I don't know what to do Travis. I feel like I have to cry but I can't cry anymore. I don't want her to die, she's my Mom, I know she's in pain but I don't want her to die. It's not fair, why does she have to die?"  
  
_I'm asking you to show me what life is all about  
_  
Travis isn't sure whether Lily wants a response but when the silence continues Lily just leans her head on Travis' shoulder and he wraps his arm around her, holding her close to him as she shakes. "Things just happen Lily, we can't always know why they happen." Travis remains in this position for awhile and withing 20 minutes he realizes that Lily has fallen asleep on his chest. He tries not to move to allow Lily some peace in her sleep but 30 minutes later Travis' cell phone rings and he quickly answers it, careful not to disturb Lily.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Travis, where are you?" Robbie's voice sounds shocked, "you missed a history test."  
  
"I had something to take care of," Travis responds softly.  
  
"You had something...are you with Lily?" Robbie asks. "Is something going on between you two again?"  
  
"There's nothing going on between Lily and me," Travis assure, "you can tell Ray that."  
  
"Hang on." Robbie states and then all Travis can hear is static.  
  
"Travis? It's Ray?"  
  
"Hello Ray." Travis responds, unsure of why there was a change of people on the other line.  
  
"I just want to say that if you are Lily are back to kissing or whatever, well that's alright because Kylie and I are happy together, so if you and Lily are together you don't have to hide it."  
  
"We aren't together. Lily and I are _only_ friends." Travis assures.  
  
"Well for future reference then."  
  
"Alright, good-bye Ray." Travis tries to get off the phone before Ray asks about Lily.  
  
"Oh Travis," Ray calls before Travis can hang up.  
  
"Are you and Lily coming to the station at four or what?"  
  
"I'm not exactly sure."  
  
"Alright, whatever's going on with Lily..."  
  
"Who said there was something going on with Lily?" Travis asks.  
  
"Come on Travis." Ray sighs, "anyway, whatever is going on with Lily tell her Robbie and I can be here for her too. And if you guys don't make it today I'll cover for you."  
  
"I'll pass along the message."  
  
"Alright, later Travis."  
  
"Who was..." Lily trails back off as she falls back asleep before completing her sentence, snuggling closer to Travis in the process.

* * *

"How long have I been asleep?" Lily asks as she slowly wakes up.  
  
"An hour and a half."  
  
Lily sits up quickly, "you sat here for an hour and a half without moving?"  
  
Travis shrugs, "it's no big deal."  
  
"Travis!" Lily exclaims, "I can't...you..."  
  
"You were out, I wasn't going to wake you up."  
  
"Were you talking on the phone? Or did I dream that?"  
  
"Yeah, Robbie and Ray called, they were wondering where you were. Ray wanted to know if we were going to the station today."  
  
"I don't know if I'm up to it." Lily responds.  
  
Travis nods, "that's okay, I'll stay with you. Ray said he would cover for us. He also said to tell you that he and Robbie are here for you too."  
  
"You told them?" Lily's voice holds pure betrayal.  
  
"No, they don't know anything, they just figure out that there was something going on."  
  
Lily sighs, "it not fair to hide things from them, I'll go down to the station." 


	5. Chapter 3

Chapter Three  
  
Ray and Robbie had known Lily most of their lives and in all of those years they had never, ever, seen Lily like this. "Hey Lily. Hey Travis." Ray calls trying to keep an edge of normalcy in his voice while he feels like he is in some freakish alternate reality where Lily is falling apart, Travis is skipping classes, and every part of him wishes that he and Robbie had been right and they were just secretly dating.  
  
"Let's get going." Travis and Lily had gotten to the station with just enough time to start the show so Lily could avoid and emotional work-up before having to do a show. Travis takes his seat, adjusts a few things and then begins, "three...two...one..."  
  
An uncomfortable silence follows the mediocre shows - no one's hearts had been in it and when five minutes has passed and everyone had shifted as uncomfortably as possible Lily finally speaks. "You are probably wondering what's wrong with me."  
  
"Lily you don't have to talk about it if you don't want." Robbie insists.  
  
Lily shakes her head and Travis emerges behind the switchboard as if having him in closer proximity will led Lily the support she needs and it seems to have the proper effect. Lily clears her throat before actually speaking, "my Mom's sick and the doctors are saying she's probably only got a month or so left. There's nothing they can do for her."  
  
"Lily..." Ray begins.  
  
Lily holds up her hand, "let me finish, please. I don't want you to treat me differently, my life at home is far from normal so the days I do come to school and can do RFR I need you guys to treat me normally. I don't want to be coddled, I don't think I could handle it. All right?"  
  
Ray and Robbie nod, "all right."  
  
"Travis?" Lily focuses on the only one who hadn't agreed.  
  
Travis seems more reluctant to do so but finally he nods, "fine."  
  
Lily nods, "good. I should get home though, my mom should be getting back from the doctors soon, I guess I'll see you guys later." With her words Lily makes a quick exit.  
  
Ray and Robbie turn to face Travis once she is gone and Ray asks, "is she going to be all right?"  
  
Travis shrugs, "I'm not sure."  
  
Ray runs a hand through his hair, "I promised Kylie I would meet her at Mickey's."  
  
"Okay, cya Ray." Robbie calls and once he's gone Robbie addresses, "her mom's been sick for awhile, hasn't she?"  
  
Travis nods, "Lily said two years."  
  
"We should have known something was off, all this time and we couldn't see anything was up. That makes us terrible friends, doesn't it?"

* * *

Travis walks toward his house, Robbie's question has been running through his head the whole walk home. How could they've been so blind to miss Lily's obvious pain? Lily was obviously a much better actor than anyone knew, her smiles and cheerful jingles all seemed hollow now.  
  
"Hello?" Travis calls out to an empty house. Travis sighs as a crash of thunder is heard, "great," things only seem to get words when the light flickers out, "it figures."  
  
Through the dark Travis reaches the drawer where he knows are matches and candles for these exact instances carrying one of the candles into the kitchen he looks around for a note, which he easily finds in its normal spot.  
  
**_Travis,  
  
Dad and I both have late meetings today, there's money here for you to order pizza in - why don't you have friends over? Anyway we'll be late, but Dad left a book he thought you'd be interested in. I love you,  
  
Mom_  
**  
Travis sighs then spots the money and book, pocketing the money, he wasn't going to call anyone, so that left him with whatever book his father had left him. Passing the answering machine he listens to and then deletes the message from the school saying he had missed classes that day.  
  
Several hours later Travis was falling asleep while reading the book his father had left him - another boring book on something Travis didn't care about. He'd finally slumped in his chair asleep just in time to be woken by the doorbell ringing. Closing the book Travis stands up and stretches and then walks down the hallway to open the door.  
  
"Lily." Travis stares at a soaking wet Lily, her soaking hair blowing in her face. "Come in." Travis quickly moves out of the way, "what are you doing here?"  
  
Lily shrugs, "I couldn't stay home. I'm just kind of in the way there, it's my Dad who takes care of her and I just kind of sit. I couldn't just sit anymore and I didn't have anywhere else to go..."  
  
"It's all right," Travis assures Lily leading her past the chair he had just vacated and grabs the blanket off of it, wrapping it around her shoulders. "Stay here, I'll fine you a change of clothes."  
  
"You don't..."  
  
"It's not a problem, stay here, I'll be back." Travis leaves Lily in the chair with the candles an he fumbles towards the laundry room, which is closer than his room. Blindly grabbing in the dark Travis grabs what he assumes is a pair of his sweat pants and sweat but when Lily comes back into the living room a couple minutes later after having changed it's obvious that the pants belong to his taller, heavier father. The pants, despite the fact that the strings are pulled tightly, still hang low on her hips and pool around her feet and the sweater covers her hands and hangs to her knees.  
  
"I'll find you something else." Travis offers standing.  
  
Lily shakes her head, "this is fine, really, they're warm and that's enough."  
  
Travis sits back down on the couch and is slightly surprised when Lily pulls the blanket tightly around her and sits down next to him. "This blanket smells like you," Lily holds the blanket close to her nose.  
  
"Yeah, I brought it out from my room earlier." Travis responds surprised that Lily would recognize his smell.  
  
"Travis," Travis can see that Lily is watching him in the candlelight.  
  
"Don't apologize for showing up here." Travis cautions, knowing the words that are about to come out of Lily's mouth. "I don't want you to apologize."  
  
"I didn't have anywhere else to go. Ray would make lame jokes to try to make me feel better and Robbie would want me to talk about it. I'd appreciate the effort but..."  
  
"You don't want either of those," Travis surmises.   
  
Lily nods, "I just don't want to think about any of it. Today when I fell asleep...it was..."  
  
"It was?" Travis coaxes.  
  
"It was the first time I've slept, well comfortably, in a long time. There's just something about you Travis, I know we've avoided talking about everything but there's always been something between us."  
  
Travis faces Lily his eyes searching her face, unsure of what she wants him to say. "Lily..." Travis realizes once again just how close they are.  
  
_Your kiss might kill me  
_  
Lily's breath has slowed, she knew she and Travis were going to kiss again but she wasn't sure if she could handle kissing Travis again, and yet every part of her wanted it.  
  
_So won't you kill me, so I die happy_  
  
Lily leans in closer, her lips gently brushing Travis' and once again she is caught off guard by how kissing Travis takes her breath away. Their kiss lengthens and sweetens, Travis toys with a lock of her long, soft, hair as they kiss and when they finally pull apart to take a long breath staring at each other in the candlelight Travis watches as Lily's glowing eyes glimmer with tears.   
  
"Lily I didn't..." Travis isn't sure what else to say.  
  
_And one of these days I won't be afraid of staying with you_  
  
"I have to go." Lily breathes shallowly as she jumps up.  
  
"Lily..." Travis grabs her hand.  
  
"I can't. Travis don't ask me to stay, because I can't, it's to hard and I don't know if I know how to deal with this right now."  
  
Travis nods then feeling guilty for even attempting to push her, "alright, there is an umbrellas you can take with you, it's still raining."  
  
"I'm sorry Travis." Lily murmurs.  
  
Once Lily has gone the silence of the house seems to move in around and Travis suddenly feels claustrophobic despite the open room around him and walks toward the entrance way and opens the door. Lily had taken the last umbrella, his parents must have the other two, but it doesn't really matter because the rain has slower to a drizzle. Randomly walking Travis makes his way to the station without intending to, once there Travis is suddenly reminded of Robbie's question. If they were bad friends for not noticing Lily's pain then he was the worst because he had kissed her and only made her feel words. He had wanted to make her feel better and he had failed miserably. 


	6. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
  
**AN: Yay a long chapter for me! I totally could have made this chapter longer, it was intended to be longer but I have someone coming over for most of the rest of the day and I wanted to give you guys an update so I did a little editing and yay here's the chapter! Please review! When I get awesome reviews like the ones from The Girl Next Door, PsychoticNetJunkie, TrilyFan4lyf91, Sinilu Silverspell and especially "reviewr"it really encourages me to put all things aside, including my graduation thank you notes (but that's not so hard) and write, so thanks a ton!**

* * *

"Travis, wake-up." Ray;s face hangs over Travis the next morning.  
  
"Ray, what are you doing in my bedroom?" Travis asks.  
  
"I'm not," Ray responds, "unless your new bedroom is the RFR station and you were just waiting for a better time to tell us you moved in."  
  
Travis stretches and his stiff back is evidence that he'd slept on the couch at the station, "I must have fallen asleep, but what are you doing here?"  
  
"I come every Saturday morning, my brother comes over with his girlfriend neither of which I care to spend time with."  
  
"You come here every Saturday morning?"  
  
Ray nods, "just about. So no offense Travis but you look trappy, that's tired and crappy the worst of both worlds."  
  
"Thanks." Travis sighs running a hand through his messy hair.  
  
"What's going on?" Ray asks sitting in Lily's usual chair.  
  
"Nothing," Travis shakes his head.  
  
"Oh, come on Travis, I thought we were to the point where we are friends, you can trust me."  
  
"It's Lily." Travis finally responds.  
  
"I knew it!" Ray exclaims, "you and Lily are secretly dating."  
  
"Wrong."  
  
"You aren't secretly dating?"  
  
"No...well..."  
  
"Is it true," Ray grabs at his chest, "for once you don't have all the answers?"  
  
"Ray, I don't always have all the answers," Travis leans against the couch.  
  
"So then what's going on with you and Lily?"  
  
"I kissed her, then she kissed me." Travis sighs for what seems like the millionth time that morning, "I don't know."  
  
"Well you like Lily, right?"  
  
"Yes, but it's not that simple."  
  
"Believe me, I get that, or did you suddenly have a brain lapse in which you've forgotten my unrequited crush on Lily?"  
  
"This is different, we both know how we feel about each other but Lily is going through so many things right now, it's not a good time for her."  
  
_Nothing's wrong that can't be cured with a new love  
_  
Ray shakes his head, "that's where you're wrong swamie."  
  
"How do you mean?"  
  
"I mean that when you love someone and that person loves you then there's no time that can't be okay for you to be together. You know I never understood that before, but with Kylie I get it now."  
  
"Understand what exactly?"  
  
_Open your eyes to love  
_  
"That love: true, honest, love overcomes everything."  
  
Travis shakes his head, "that's not true, death, nothing can overcome it. Death is inevitable. Death is infinite."  
  
"Maybe but death can be overcome too."  
  
"Ray, sometimes I don't understand you."  
  
Ray nods, "and I almost never understand you so I guess that makes us even." Ray shrugs, "so how about some breakfast?"

* * *

"Lily, sweetie, get up." Lily's father's voice wakes Lily that same morning.  
  
"What?" It's not until she pulls her bedroom door open that she realizes she's still wearing Travis' father's clothes, meaning her own were still at Travis'.  
  
"You mom wants to know if you want to come to lunch with us."  
  
"She's going out?" Lily asks, with the exception of doctor's appointments her mother never went out, she didn't ever have the energy.  
  
"We are going to buy her a wig and then get some lunch, sound good?"  
  
Lily nods with an authentic smile, "yeah, sounds great to me."

* * *

"So you talked to Lily?" Travis asks Robbie.  
  
Robbie nods, "she said she'd be there for the show but she's having lunch with her parents.  
  
"But she'll be there this afternoon?" Travis asks, he had resolved himself to talking everything over with Lily before either one of them could loose their nerve and they went back to ignoring their feelings for each other.  
  
"She'll be there." Robbie nods in assurance.

* * *

"I'll pick up our order." Lily offers.  
  
"Thanks Lily," Lily's mother squeezes her hand gently.  
  
"Lily!" Robbie's voice startles Lily so much she jumps.  
  
"Robbie, what are you doing here?" Lily asks.  
  
"We're here for lunch, Mickey's was to crowded," Robbie gestures to where Ray and Travis are watching the two. "You cut your hair.  
  
Lily touches the end of her now short chin length, "I um, cut it, it was long enough to make into a wig for my mom."  
  
"I like it, the entire time I've known you you've had long hair, but I like it short too."  
  
Lily smiles, "thanks. So I guess I'll see you this afternoon."  
  
"Did your friend like your hair cut?" Lily's father asks.  
  
Lily nods, "he did."  
  
"Lily I really am appreciative to you for cutting your hair just to give me a wig."  
  
"I wanted to." Lily responds, "besides it's a nice change. My hair has always been long, it'll be cooler for the summer anyway."  
  
Lily's father hugs both Lily and her mother, "I'm glad to be out with my girls."  
  
"That was a good show," Ray comments as Travis switches the equipment off.  
  
Robbie nods, "definitely a good show. So we're going to get going," Robbie elbows Ray.  
  
"Yeah, we'll see you guys later. Maybe at Mickey's...all right..." He elbows Robbie back for the jab in the side he received, "later." Ray and Robbie make a quick exit.  
  
"Could they be any more obvious?" Travis questions with a sigh before moving to take a chair facing Lily, "we need to talk."  
  
"All right," Lily nods. "Last night shouldn't have happened Travis, it was just a mistake."  
  
_Don't feel guilty 'cause you turned to me last night  
_  
"I don't think us being together is a mistake." Travis is surprised by his own bluntness.  
  
"Travis..."  
  
"No, Lily we already put off how we feel about each other and these feelings obviously aren't going away."  
  
"Travis when I kiss you I feel like I'm losing control."  
  
Travis is slightly offended by this, "if you think I'd take advantage of you and push you to do anything you..."  
  
"Travis, stop," Lily interrupts. "I didn't mean it that way."  
  
"Then how did you mean it?"  
  
"For two years, Travis, for two years I have struggled to keep control over myself. To keep from falling apart, constantly I've battled this and when I kissed you I feel all of that completely melt away."  
  
"Lily I..."  
  
"You didn't know, I know, but I can't handle that loss of control right now."  
  
Travis takes Lily's hand entwining their fingers, "I want to be with you Lily, but I'm not going to force you into anything you're not ready for."  
  
Lily stares at their hands, "I want to be with you so badly Travis, but I'm so confused, half of the time I don't even know what I want. Sometimes I want to be with people, other times I don't."  
  
"I'm willing to give it a try, Lily, if you are." Travis states.  
  
"I'd drive you crazy, I drive myself crazy. I don't want you to have to go through all of that."  
  
Travis gently squeezes Lily's hand and stares at her, "if you don't want this then tell me that, but if you do then stop making excuses and let me make my own choices, maybe I need a little craziness in my life."  
  
Lily takes a deep breath, "if things, if I, get too crazy for you then you can walk away, we'll still be friends. I won't blame you."  
  
"You make it sound like I am staying with you out of pity."  
  
"My mother's dying Travis," the pain on Lily's face as she says this is heartbreaking. "That tends to evoke a lot of pity."  
  
"Well I'm not staying with you out of pity. I kissed you before I knew your Mom was even sick, remember?"  
  
Lily nods, "I remember. So what does this make us then?"  
  
"Whatever you can handle us being right now."  
  
"I want to be your girlfriend but I can't kiss you Travis, I can't handle that."  
  
Travis nods, "that's fine."  
  
They sit for a couple of minutes content to let the silence blanket them, but eventually Lily breaks it, "so should we meet Ray and Robbie at Mickey's then?" Lily raises her voice and moves toward the door.  
  
Travis smiles at Lily as he watches her quickly pull the door open, Robbie and Ray rumbling onto the floor. Robbie leans on his elbow casually asking, "hey guys, what's up?"  
  
"Get up you two." Lily laughs.  
  
"So you guys are together then?" Ray asks and when Travis and Lily nod he smiles. "Cool. It's Trily, that's Travis and Lily, the best of both worlds."  
  
"What about Rylie?" Lily asks, "are you guys still the best of both worlds?"  
  
Ray nods, we are, now we just need to fine someone for Robbie here and we can go to junior prom as three couples."  
  
"Right," Robbie brushes himself off as he stands, "so, Mickey's?"  
  
"Yeah," Lily nods, "I'm starving and my Dad was making a romantic dinner for my mom, so Mickey's sounds good to me."


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter Five  
  
"How's your mom feeling?" Robbie asks as they walk toward Mickey's.  
  
"A lot better than she was when she was taking her chemo, she's less weak and she can eat more." Lily responds.  
  
"She looked good when we saw her earlier," Ray comments.  
  
"Yeah," Lily looks toward Travis hoping that he will find a smooth way to change the topics.  
  
"Ed and Ted called during the show, they want to call in tomorrow because they want to voice their opinion on the royalty race for prom." Travis informs the group.  
  
"Should make for an interesting show," Robbie comments.  
  
Lily slips her hand into Travis' as they round the corner near Mickey's and he smiles gently back at her, "so prom," Robbie brings the topic up again. "We're going? Bad music and all?"  
  
"Yeah, the school makes a lot of money off of prom." Lily points out.  
  
Travis nods, "I think this is choose your battles situation, if RFR goes up against Waller we'll loose."  
  
Robbie gives Travis a look, "you mean to tell me Travis isn't going to do battle with Waller over this?"  
  
Travis nods, "I won't fight him on this."  
  
Ray nods, "good. I think we'll have fun."  
  
Lily nods, "I think so too."  
  
Walking into Mickey's Lily suddenly remembers that Audrey had recently begun working there and she drops Travis' hand and offers, "I'll order, my treat."  
  
"If it's your treat then I'll get it." Ray suggests.  
  
Lily shakes her head, "everyone wants their regulars right?" When the guys nod she nods and head to the counter where Audrey stands ready for her. They literally hadn't spoken since that night in Lily's bedroom years before when Lily told Audrey that she and Travis had kissed. Due to several occasional run ins where they had to get along Travis and Audrey had over their problems; but Lily figured, not to mention agreed with, that Audrey held the theory that a cheating friend is worse than a cheating boyfriend.  
  
"So you and Travis." Audrey comments.  
  
Lily nods, "yeah, I guess, it just happened."  
  
"Finally." Audrey states.  
  
That was not what Lily had expected, she knew Audrey was long over Travis but this wasn't the response she had thought was coming, "I'm sorry?"  
  
"Well it took you guys long enough." Audrey smiles at Lily. Lily mut have a weird look on her face because Audrey states, "I'm sorry about the last couple of years."  
  
"It was my fault," Lily shakes her head.  
  
Audrey shrugs, "maybe, I blamed you for months afterwards. By the time I realized that if I was supposed to be with Travis you guys wouldn't have kissed it was just easier to keep ignoring you."  
  
Lily nods, "I understand that."  
  
"So maybe we can do something sometime." Audrey suggests.  
  
Lily nods, "I'd love to, but I should get them their food."  
  
"Do either of you think it's weird that Lily and Audrey are hugging AFTER Travis and Lily get together?" Ray questions.  
  
Travis and Robbie shrug as they watch the two girls separate and Lily pay for their food and walk toward the table. "So you and Audrey are alright?" Travis asks gently touching Lily's arm when she sits with them.  
  
"Yeah," Lily nods, "everything's fine."  
  
"So," Ray takes a last drink of his soda, the straw making a loud slurping noise before he continues. "Should we rent movies and head back to my place or something? "  
  
"I can't," Lily responds, "I should get going, I'm sure my mom and dad are done with dinner."  
  
Ray looks ready to protest but Travis silences him with a brief look, "I'll walk you home."  
  
"You don't have to." Lily counters.  
  
"I want to." Travis states. "We'll see you guys later."  
  
Lily and Travis walk out of Mickey's quietly until Travis asks, "everything all right?"  
  
Lily nods, "I'm just tired, it's been a long day."  
  
Travis wraps an arm around Lily's waist, "are you coming to school Monday?"  
  
"Yeah, my parents will probably make me." Lily leans against Travis and once they get to her house Lily asks, "do you want to come in?"  
  
Travis shakes his head, "I'll let you have family time."  
  
Lily blushes a little, "I lied." Lily tucks her short hair behind her ear, "it's not that I don't want to hang out with Ray and Robbie but..." Lily shrugs, "I've been a little social inept lately, but just because I don't want to be in a group doesn't mean I want to be alone."  
  
"Are you sure?" Travis asks again.  
  
"I'm sure," Lily unlocks the front door, "come in."  
  
"So where are your parents then?" Travis asks following Lily into the house.  
  
"They were going out for ice cream after dinner." Lily states, "so do you want some ice cream, because we have a lot of ice cream in the house."  
  
"Sure," Travis nods, "what kind?"  
  
"Chocolate chip, mint chocolate chip or chocolate chip cookie dough."  
  
"A lot of chocolate chips." Travis comments.  
  
"We're a chocolate chip type of family." Lily smiles. "So?"  
  
"Mint," Travis responds.  
  
"Good choice, my favorite." Lily opens the freeze and pulls out the half gallon contain her quickly dishes out two large bowls of ice cream. They settle into a comfortable silence eating their ice cream until a couple spoonfuls into her bowl Lily pushes it away from her and Travis calls her on it.  
  
"I thought it was your favorite?" Travis asks.  
  
"It is, but there's just something wrong with mint chocolate chip ice cream that's not minty colored." Lily responds.  
  
"Uh huh." Travis nods slowly at Lily not believing a word of what she is saying and he stares at her intently.  
  
Lily shifts under his gaze but finally confesses, "it's really sad that I can't even stand to be in my own house."  
  
"We can get out of here if you want," Travis states. "I know where we can go."  
  
"You didn't tell me that we were going hiking." Lily states as she stumbles over rocks on her way following Travis up a hill.  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that, it's not usually this rough but the rain kind of destroyed the path." Travis responds as he takes Lily's hand and helps her over a particularly rough patch on the path. "I come up here when I can't stand to be alone."  
  
"But it's so quiet up here," Lily observes softly.  
  
Travis nods, "yeah, it is. But somehow, looking over the city, watching all the people come and go it feels less lonely than sitting alone in my house."  
  
Lily observes Travis for a minute and then nods, "I understand that."  
  
A.N. sorry it took so long to update but I've been on vacation for the last month, but I'm back, yay and I got a lot of writing done while I was gone so you are rewarded...DO you know how hard it was being away from the computer for a month? I live in a technological age okay...I need my ff.net! 


	8. Chapter 6

Chapter Six  
  
"Thank you Travis," Lily whispers as they pull away from where Travis had parked the car at the bottom of the mountain.  
  
"For what?" Travis asks.  
  
"For sharing that with me, it was so peaceful and exactly what I needed tonight."  
  
"So maybe sometime when your parents are out again we could do something, maybe a movie?"  
  
Lily smiles genuinely at Travis, "I'd like that, a lot."  
  
"So I was thinking for the next show we could..."  
  
Travis' words don't actually register in Lily's mind but his voice soothes her and she leans her head against the headrest, letting the calming feeling wash over her. But as Travis pulls onto her street the feeling disappears and is replaced by the reminder of what waits for her at home.  
  
_Please don't drive me home tonight_  
  
Before Lily can even request that maybe Travis take her home later he asks, "who's car is in your driveway?"  
  
"My Aunt Margo's," an of the previous calm is gone and Lily feels sick again. "My Dad's sister."  
  
"Any idea why she's here?" Travis asks.  
  
Lily shrugs, "my parents probably called her."  
  
"I'll walk you in," Travis states shutting the car off.  
  
"You don't have to," Lily shakes her head as she unbuckles her seatbelt but Travis ignores her protest and quickly walks around the car to open her door.  
  
"You okay?" Travis questions as Lily steps out of the car.  
  
"Fine," Lily flashes Travis a smile. "I think I just wanna go to bed early."  
  
"Lily," Travis givers her a stern look.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know what."  
  
_The way you look at me made me realize I can't fake it_  
  
"Don't lie to me Lily," Travis gently urges. "You can talk to me, I won't judge you and I promise I won't quote philosophy to you. I'm a good listener you know."  
  
Lily nods, "I know." Sitting down on the curb Travis follows suit, "I hate going home."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's so quiet at my house."  
  
_I think to much_  
  
"All I do is sit in my room and the silence is so choking I can't breath and all I can do is think about my life and what it's going to like after...I don't know what's wrong with me, I love my mom but I can't stand to be there." Lily drops her face into he hands, "you'd think I'd be adjusted, she's been sick for so long..."  
  
_But I'm not taking things to well  
_  
"I feel like I have to be strong, for my mom and dad and Ray and Robbie and everyone. Most days I can do that but it just keeps getting harder."  
  
"Then stop pretending Lily, we all love you and no one..."  
  
The light from the house stops Travis' words and both teens turn to see who has opened the door, a tiny figure is hurrying down the walk toward them, "Lily, finally you're home."  
  
"Aunt Margo, what's wrong?" Lily is immediately on her feet and all signs of her break down are replaced with a neutral expression.  
  
The petite woman in front of them bursts into tears, "sweetie, something happened."  
  
"What?" Lily plays with a strand of hair, a tell-tale sign to Travis of what Lily is hiding.  
  
_I think I'm scared  
_  
"There's nothing they could do."  
  
Travis understands what Aunt Margo is trying to convey and he places a supportive hand under Lily's elbow but Lily shakes him off, "Aunt Margo, what's going on?"  
  
"Lily, baby, I'm so sorry. Your mother, she's dead."  
  
Nobody moves for a long minute, while Margo cries Travis watches Lily as several different emotions play with her beautiful features. "What happened?" Lily's regained control of her emotions and the wall is back up.  
  
Shocked by her nieces unaffected tone MArgo responds, "she collapsed when she and your father were getting ice cream."  
  
Lily nods shortly, "okay. Travis, thank you for bringing me home. Could you, uh, please call Ray and Robbie and let them know?"  
  
"Lily," Travis begins and he can suddenly see the one place that Lily is showing emotion and her pleading eyes silence him. "Yeah, I'll let them know and don't worry about anything." Travis wants to hug Lily or comfort her in some way but Travis knows that that's the last thing Lily wants so he walks away without a word.  
  
When Travis gets to his car he sits for a long time trying to process everything Lily was going through but all he could get his mind to focus on was Lily's request so he turns his car in the direction of Ray's house hoping Robbie hadn't left yet. It isn't until Travis rings the doorbell and Ray's very disgruntled looking father answers the door that Travis realizes how late it must be.   
  
"Can I help you son?" Mr. Brennan asks.  
  
"I'm sorry it's so late, sir, but it's important. Is Ray home?"  
  
Ray's father closes the door without responding but Travis remains still and in several minutes Ray shuffles to the door, "Swami you know it's almost two in the morning?"  
  
"I haven't looked at a clock in hours."  
  
"You don't look so hot," Ray closes the door behind him, "what's going on?"  
  
"It's Lily's mother," Travis takes a deep breath.  
  
"Did something happen?"  
  
"Well duh," Travis uncharacteristically snaps. "No I just randomly came over at two in the morning to tell you she's sleeping comfortably."  
  
Ray is taken aback by Travis' words and almost fearfully asks, "what happened Travis?"  
  
"I'm not exactly sure what happened..."  
  
"Is Lily's mom alright?" Ray asks slowly.  
  
Travis shakes his head, "she's dead."  
  
"Dammit," Ray kicks the porch railing.  
  
"What's going on out here?" Ray's father opens the door but neither really notice.  
  
"She asked me to tell you and Robbie."  
  
"We should go."  
  
"You certainly aren't going anywhere, it's two in the morning. Whatever it is you have to tell Robbie can wait until the morning."  
  
"I have to go." Ray finally addresses his father.  
  
"I don't think so." Ray's father shakes his head and then rests his hand on Ray's shoulder, "you'll see Robbie in the morning at school."  
  
"It's late," Travis states, "maybe we shouldn't wake up his whole family too."  
  
"I'll call his cell," Ray offers.  
  
Travis went straight home after leaving Ray's, je suddenly felt exhausted the days show and before that seemed like forever ago and the thought that he still had to get up in the morning made it all seem worse. He knew that his parents were in bed and that the fact shouldn't surprise or hurt him but more and more, especially tonight, Travis wished his parents weren't so hands off. Travis' thoughts had been so consumed with his parents and the day that he nearly hits the crumpled form in his driveway, the noise created by him slamming on the brakes distills the silence of the post-midnight air but doesn't disturb the dorm.   
  
Travis is out of his car almost before the engine shuts off, "you didn't come straight home." Lily says the words as if she's in a trance.  
  
"I stopped by Ray's," Travis replies hoping his tone sounds normal.  
  
"Ray," Lily's oldest friend's name sounds unfamiliar on her lips. "I told my aunt I'm spending the night at a girlfriends house. She's got her hands full with my Dad so she didn't seem to mind."  
  
Travis kneels in front of Lily, "tell me what I can do."  
  
_Tell me how I can ease your pain_  
  
"Can you take me to the mountain? I just need some peace, I know it's late."  
  
"No, it's fine, we can go, it's not a problem." Travis holds his hand out to Lily and she slowly takes it to pull herself up. 


End file.
